Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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