I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Sext me about skeletons
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
