I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
