your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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