Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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