i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
