I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
