Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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