i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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