I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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