we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
