no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
