All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
