we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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