Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
