yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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