Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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