:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
