I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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