it wasn't lemon gatorade
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
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