I'm going to jail i love you
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need to calm my uterus...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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