playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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