She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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