youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
