I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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