trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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