I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
