I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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