You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize