woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
