I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
