I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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