everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My vagina just clenched in fear
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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