Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
