as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
