Dual....:-)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
