If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
