can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
