I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
