At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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