we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
