i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
what day is it and did you see me today?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
