I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
