I need help removing her.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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