There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
