I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
