Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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