he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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