i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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