3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
