Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
