Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
