I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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