why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Four minutes until I can fart!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
