And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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