I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
