if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
