dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize