is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
