Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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