You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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