brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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