come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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