but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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