I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize