I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
