I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
