I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
