I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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