This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
