Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Can i not drive my cunt home
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
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