I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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